Hello?

As it turns out, liquid courage was not required to draft my letter.  Miracles come in all forms, folks.

It took me a few days to get it all out (and a whopping 12 pages, although many of which contained pictures!), but it is done.  My brothers gave it the thumbs up, and James even added in a few pictures of his own.  Meredith gave it the thumbs up, too.

There was only one thing left to do.  I had to bring that massive letter to the post office and send it via certified mail.

On Friday morning, before driving to the shore to spend the holiday weekend with my family, I made a pit stop at the post office, manila envelope in tow.  My postal worker was fantastically helpful, as per usual (which reminds me that I still need to fill out his survey).  Overall, I had no idea what I was doing, except that I needed to send the letter both certified mail (so I’ll be sent a receipt once it is received) AND restricted (which means that only he will be able to receive and sign for it).  Given the sensitive nature of the letter, and what I’ve heard from others in this boat, this would be the best and most respectful way to get the letter to him.  That said, I definitely questioned my choice as I watched the postal worker blow up the envelope with bright red “RESTRICTED” stamps.  Whoops.  Hopefully he sees past that as a first impression of our message.

My postal worker said that since Monday is a holiday, the letter would arrive on Tuesday.  Phew, I had a few days.  However, it sounded like if they weren’t able to deliver directly to him on the first attempt, the letter would be kept at his local post office until he’s able to pick it up.  I thought  most packages allow for three delivery attempts?  Maybe it works differently with certified restricted mail.  Anyway, I could be looking at a while longer than Tuesday before he ever opens this letter.

Or he could get it on the first try, who knows.

The weekend flew by, because today is the day.  I’m trying not to freak out about it too much.  It’s just hard when you know that his world is about to seriously shift.  And how will he respond?  I left my phone number at the bottom of the letter, so it’s entirely possible that I could get a phone call today.  That’s really too big to fathom.  There’s also a return address, which could yield a reply letter anywhere from a few days from now to years. Or never.

He might even reach out to Christy or Meredith, since I mentioned them in our letter.

There’s really a million different possibilities for how this could play out, and I’m not sure that it’s helping my nerves to conceive of them.  (No pun intended).

What did the letter contain?  I’m trying to decide right now if it’s appropriate to include it.  The letter, in many ways, is his, and still feels private at this point.  It feels too sensitive in nature to post here, at least for now.  Maybe in time I’ll feel differently, but it does feel too soon.  If nothing else, aside from my brothers and Meredith, he deserves to be the first one to see it.  I have to give him that.

Christy is supposed to get back from Ireland today, and we’re supposed to try again with meeting up.  I sent her an email a few days ago confirming that I’ll make myself available and am just waiting to hear from her.

So I’ll just wait to hear from either one, or both.  I waited over a year to get this far on my search–I can wait a little longer.