I just now found out about the FOURTH case of another donor conceived person finding out that their anonymous “donor” had never intentionally donated, but had (like in my case) just been another patient at the clinic who never consented to having any of his samples (meant for his wife) diverted to another couple.  In this case, like in the others, the receiving couple were lied to, and told the source was an anonymous donor medical student.  This time in Kansas.  There are so few of us who even know our status as being donor conceived from that era (the 70s-80s), so to find out that so many of us out of those experienced this “fluke” is kind of incredible, and unsettling.  Was it really an accident?  Even if it was, it’s an unacceptably irresponsible one.  And was it really so uncommon?  Apparently there was a similar large scandal involving egg donors (who were actually patients themselves, and again gave no consent) in California at the University of California-Irvine. http://articles.latimes.com/1995-07-06/news/mn-20673_1_fertility-clinic 

It happens, and while we owe our lives to it, it should not be happening in the future.  Especially by doctors who swear an oath to “do no harm”.  All families involved deserve better, and at minimum the truth from their doctors.

The only reason that she even considered that she might have the right person was because several others, including myself, shared our stories.  She might have totally discounted the possibility of him being her “donor” and neither of them would have discovered the truth.  Well, we are going to be spreading the word to not treat someone who “never donated” as a dead turn.  Always ask if they utilized assisted reproductive services around the same time.  Something unbelievable has been happening, but we’re shining the light on the truth that we’ve all always deserved.  Thank God her “donor” is taking it well, and they are now newly in connection.

What can be done about this?  How can we better reclaim what was always also our own, and while ensuring that other families don’t have to be put through this hell in the future?  It all starts with uncovering the truth and letting it be known.  I believe we can put an end to these unethical practices.  And we must.